Look for the good points you have!
How good and how pleasant are good and right qualities!
He who conducts himself with them is loved in Heaven and pleasing on earth, may he have favor in the eyes of Hashem and of people.
What is stated above is also true: The punishment for bad qualities is very severe and those who behave with these qualities are hated and ostracized, bad in the eyes of Heaven and bad for people.
This is expressed in the words of our sages of blessed memory, in the Talmud, the Midrash, the Zohar, and the books of Mussar. Anyone who meditates on these will know what the fear of sin is.
And it is true that there is a difference between the two characters, there is the one who was blessed by the Eternal from the womb of his mother with a good nature and good qualities, with correct ideas, but there is also that which is set, (may the Eternal deliver us) The one who was blessed with understanding to do and is facilitated to conduct himself with good and upright qualities and recognizes how bad it is to have a bad character, must thank Him for his portion and say:
"I have become small for all the favors I have received."For this favor is greater than life itself and the world to come.
But what can one do who has evil qualities and strays from the intelligent path, thinking that evil is good and good is evil, although his path is right in his own eyes?
This is an incurable disease, as King Solomon said:
"Have you seen a man who is wise in his own eyes? A fool has more hope than he" (Mishle 26-12)
He must do the following and maybe he will be saved:
Pour your soul into prayers and supplications before the Creator of the Universe, day after day, at night, morning and evening, within the Amidah (the prayer we make directed towards the Creator three times a day), asking Him for good advice to be whole in your character and in your thinking, with perfection in everything and to do only what is good and right in the eyes of Hashem and people.
He must also be diligent and study only books that lead to perfection.
"Let him cling to the dust of the Jajamim" (Wise Ones) and learn from their deeds and do not deviate from their words, and even if it seems to you that they say that the left is the right, that it does not rely on your understanding and that your will and desire are nullified before the will of others.
He must bend himself with vigor and energy to act against his nature or against his will, and thus the custom will become his own nature, and Hashem will open his eyes so that he can see and understand what the correct path is, and then he will be able to do Teshuvah and be healed.
(Rabbenu Eliezer Papu)
Yes, it is possible to change! You just have to want it, with the same strength with which you have sought what you love so much. If you do it for the good, Hashem will multiply your strength and provide you with the necessary help.
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